28/11/2011

This morning, FUCK, woke up at 10.. THEN.. was about to go downstairs to shower and have my breakfast until.. I heard a violin sound. DAYUM.. my sister's learning violin with her teacher at the living room. At that time, I was wearing what.. Boxers and Singlet?.. To keep my well-built reputation in front of the teacher, I decide to stay in the room.. How long can 1-hour be?

Wadafak.. Guess what? After the violin teacher gone off.. The guitar teacher came by to prepare my bro for his guitar examination at the eleventh hour. (He's my teacher too).. And now, I have to get stuck in the room for another 1 hour. FUCK. Suan liao.

So another 1 hour have passed by, and so I exited my room.. until I heard some aunt's voice. BITCH. That voice lasted for 1/2 an hour.. -.- By the time I get to shower, it's already 12.30.. damned. DAMN YOU ALL.

So yeah, when I was clearing up my room, I found a pretty old Ps2.. and miraculously it was able to work. 'WIN', I thought. Finally, something to add onto the boring, typical holidays. Too bad, I had only maybe a few not up-to-date games, for example, Winning Eleven 09' Nba 09' and maybe a supposed-to-be demon like game but turned out pretty animeish.. Soul Nomad : The World Eaters.



Haha.. But what actually took the most time these few days is texting you lo. Had to check the cell (CELLPHONE) all the time, just in case I missed one of your texts. And luckily I haven't missed once. XD

Yes, I miss you and dan xin your health when you're off for the trip in Genting. So you better learn how to take better care of yourself kay?

Baka.. X)

Time to gear up?..

My dad told me something today, right before he went to bed.

"Spm's coming.. you know what to do.."

It's almost 2 now.. and this sentence is stuck in my brain. Hmm.. come to think of it. It's really time to prepare myself for the exams. It's November now.. so.. December, January, February, March, April... yeah about 11 months to prepare from now on. But then, hey, it's senior year man.. time to have fun, time to create unforgettable memories among ourselves. Surely you can't backtrack the time eh?

Come to think of it, I'm actually quite looking forward to the coming year. Firstly, I get to drive, and that will be madness for my parents. Muahaha. Driving is not easy, from what I heard. But hey, I really enjoy driving the crazy machine in the arcade. But then you normally get another chance after you crash and burn in the race. So yeah.. ._.

Next year.. next year..

I can't really think of any special events for now.

And God FINALLY, my Aran made 3rd Job Advancement. :DDD

Also bought The Sorceress from the Nicolas Flamel Series and Son of Neptune from Percy Jackson Series. Gotta start reading soon. (Y)

Studying bio at midnight is not fun. ._.

Its 2.10 a.m.

Ohaiyo Mina. :D

It's 2 in the morning now..

Weird eh, I'm not yawning.. I have no idea why. Maybe I'm just not lethargic enough yet?.. I slept about 10 hours the night before.. guessed that extended my stamina for tonight eh. End up blogging and watching Zack and Cody here in the living room..

It's been 3 days since my dad left overseas for China. Finally, I got my old night-roaming life back.. momentarily anyways. I'm actually grateful for him to force me to bed early. But, too bad, there's always a last resort -- Via Sms. So much for the technology. xD

So here's a quick summarized version of my first week of lifelessness.

Monday - Last week of Bio Tuition til next year. Hoorah.
Tue - Physics Tuition about Volkswagen.
Wed - Outing with Tek, Bryan, Xin Ying, Rach and the Twins. :)
Thurs - Maple Maple Maple.
Fri - Chemistry and Outing and Chat.




Okay, here's the small part of post for you again :D

For the first time, I had a private conversation alone with you.. in person. (Finally XD) Well.. my mind was running with crap that time so, Crapped a lot with you. (: There's also the long awkward silence among it tho.. Blek :P

Anyways, you said that you're gonna bake cookies right?
Remember to bake some for me hor.. ><.. I'm hungreh..
Will miss you during the hols... Baka..

Out of the House.

First outing for me in the holidays. Quite an unexpected one I would say. Somehow I managed to slot myself into a group of new friends eh. Not bad not bad. :D

So, I had to switch my guitar class earlier to attend this outing. (Sorry teacher.. ><) And I got to mess with Bra in the morning. Muahaha.. Told him that I'm reaching McD while I'm still at the gate. Lmao. We met a last. Our group of 5 without the twins..

The main aim for this outing was to watch 'The apple of my eye', a movie based on the well-known novel written by Nine Knives. A, I would say, perverted.. but mostly.. complicated relationships with a sad ending for the guy I would say.

Okay.. So I sat with Bra..and.. thin air in the cinema. Oh gawd.
Movie : You're the apple of my eye
What I've learnt:
1) Do not DSQ in class.
2) Relationships are fun yet torturing.
3) Stand up for something you think it's wrong.
4) Some Japan Av's name.
5) A place with no people has better signals.
6) When you have a chance, go for it.
7) Gay in shower is ==".

Had a small conversation between Bra and Xy after the movies when the rest went home first. Accompanied them until they went home.



I still feel sad for the main actor.. Aww...

What now..?

Sometimes, I do wish there aren't even long-term holidays.

It actually takes more brain-power to think and sort out the time for our holiday to be beneficial. Let's see.. I have outings, guitar classes, tuition classes to attend to and oh.. Maplestory, Sdo? for entertainment. Typical holiday I guess? Well, my dad, alongside with his friends decide to organize a trip to Turkey. Yeah.. the place which had earthquake and kill hundreds of people..

Of all places.. there.. =="

My mind still cannot register the fact that.. I'm growing up. Time flies like an eagle. Quick and sharp. It's gonna be the end of the year pretty soon. Fast eh?.. Very.

I can't define how much fun I had this year. Thank God, seriously thank god the whole class was sociable much. No one was really an outcast, even Timothy was able to find his group of friends. Definitely a striking contrast to last year.

Come to the fact that, I have a new group of friends now, that I've kinda miss my brotherhood. It's been a while since I join them, haha.. Awesome people man. Always there to help when you need them. All the times we played basketball. X)

Listening to Bullet For My Valentine now..

And the Head-banging goes on.. x)

It Ends.

F4 Life. Officially ended.

Mixed feelings.. :X Having heart attack basically the whole day. Well, attempted a card trick today but failed with the whole crowd staring at my hands. Woi.. Pei He Yi Xia larh. o_o Spamming '0s' the whole way today.. everybody gets some tight hand smacking.


Got my report card today.. And swoosh.. for the first time got into the Top 10. Felt like a black horse back then.. I believed none had actually expected my name to be in there due to my dilly-dally appearance. Somehow, still, I didn't manage to impress my dad, although he keeps mocking me saying that I will NEVER EVER get good results. Fuck it. Imma chase him to get me my new laptop soon.



Aww.. Didn't manage to hug you today..
Arghhh.. Sob Sob.. ><
Managed to walk you out to the bus stop.. and somehow I get a goodbye slap..o.o
And I actually smiled after that.. x)

Thanks for making my F4 life a enjoyable one, Kyan.. :)

Coming to an end..

Finally.. Form 4 life is coming to an end..
Well.. There's always next year.

Though we can never pray and hope to return our past eh?.. For me.. I've never regretted a single thing this year. And for the first time.. my 3-term results ended up as a V shape parabola. :) Impressive I would say.. Little did I expect it to come. o.o


Time for a recap.


Before the start of my F4 school life..I actually complaint a lot about being distributed into 4S3..

What to do? At the sight of Timothy's name.. I just crumbled into pieces. 'Gawd I hope it would not turn out as a quiet, peaceful class..' Well, John's name also appeared at the bottom of the list. Thank God, there's another troublemaker to break the silence in class and a friend to close bond too.

As time progresses, 4s3 became a part of my life.. I get to know most of the class anyways. Socializing among my classmates are not a problem.. since most of them are kinda playful and outspoken. (Unlike what I had expected.) Until sometime, Epc was born. A porn-club at first.. a talk-anything-you-want club later on.



To top it all.. 4s3'11 is coming to an end.. and I'm gonna miss everyone whom have brought me so much happiness and make this year a thrilling year for me. ><



><.. I'm always happy to be able to walk out with you..
Thanks for giving me a chance to pei you..
Well 2moro's my last chance so WALK SLOWER.. Muahaha.

LOL.. prepared to get return slapped tomorrow?..
And I'm hungry.. T.T Cookies after the holidays Pleaseeee... :D

Idle.. ><..

Aww.. Feel so lifeless now.. Haven't touched book since.. wait since when?


...2 more days..

Thursday and Friday left until the schooling come to an end..

Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad..

Me wanna cry liao.. T-T

Exams came a little too late. There wasn't much time for my friends and I to enjoy the post-examination mood. Come to think of it.. this year passed at the speed of light without us actually realizing that 'Hey! It's almost the end of school!'. Like wadafak man..

Gosh.. I'm already 16 now. And I'm still acting so immature and playful most of the time.. Man, Gonna 17 soon eh. I'm so happy that at the thought of.. I will be driving a car next year. :X Daytona USA for the win. (Well, you can just restart when you're car crashes in the game.. in reality.. then forget it :X) LOL.




Wakaka.. Today get to walk out with Kyan again. XD
Weeee.... ><..
Well before that I got mass-slapped by her.. She's dead tomorrow.
You heard that Baka Kyan.. Muahaha..



All the hardwork.. resulted in No: 11th for the moment.

It'll never be the same again..

Ohmai.. My baby is now in the guitar repair shop.. ToT

Can't wait for it to come back on Wed. RAWR.



Lalala.. Epic Nyan Cat XD..Randomness. :X


So, Today I actually baked cookies again with my sister and her friend, with lots of help from the new maid, she's really making wonders when it comes to food. :X Ohmai, I'm turning fat. :X No worries, doing hell lots of sports should keep me fit and healthy. :)

So, come to think of it, baking cookies are not that hard. Not exactly as hard as I had expected. So, today, it's mint chocolate chip cookies. Taste awesome though, that's what Jing Yi said. (Sister's friend) She lent a helping hand in the process too. Thanks Jing Yi! (If you will ever see this) :)




I kept my promise for letting you taste 幸福的味道.. x)
Happy? XD

Now I am really wondering what to say to break the silence tomorrow? Rawr..><..

Maybe I should start by slapping you in da face.. Heheheh. x)

Tap Beats. :)

Addicted to Air-drumming lately..

Those beats just comes to me.. and in a few sec.. I will be nodding and headbanging along to the beats. Normally, it all comes from all the fast.. and heavy music.. yeah.. Begging my bro to teach me during the hols.. o.o

So yeah that's about it.. Time to continue my anime.. :X




You mau cookies arh? You can bake yourself lah.. ><..
Bluek. :P

Free and Easy., (:

Everything's over now..

Though after the storm.. there isn't necessary a rainbow which appear..

Demo (But in Japanese..)

There's always a clear sky. (:

For the first time after a long time.. my mind in peace..

The mist, haze which blinded me before is cleared..

Pieces of my conscious forged themselves back together.. xD


SOMEHOW..

I broke my guitar string today..

Too syok le bah.. One bend the whole string boomed.. :/

AND..

Wee.. I actually baked cookies today muahaha.. No worries it's edible.. and it tastes awesome okay..




Baka Kyan..

Have Faith in my cookies larh..

Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee... ><.

To Rest Of The Epcians:

Xin Ying :

I didn't know what I did was right or wrong? Glad that I made things clear for you. And exposed the truth to you. Thanks for trusting me.. that I didn't hurt him intentionally. It's always a pain for me to see you.. confused over some stuffs. Where's the old Xin Ying, I miss her.. The jolly, energetic one.. that I haven't seen in quite a while now.

Xiao Qi :

Thanks for accompanying me during this hard and challenging phase.. Trying to cheer me up and keep me from emotional break down. Although how poor your results is.. you still tries to cheer me up.

Alvin :

I'm sorry you somehow being dragged into this.. and get mind fucked.. and suffered emotional problems.. ANyways today let you shake dao shuang d.

Chuen Hong :

I think I hurted you the most. I didn't know you were also so emotional. No matter what. after the rain there's always a rainbow. x) Sorry, for putting you in such an unfavorable condition.

To Kyan:

'You are not suppose to be hear listening.. Why are you here? You should not be here.. Get away.. please..'

This was what ran through my thoughts when I talked to tek yesterday. I didn't want you to get hurt emotionally. I can be dead serious when it comes to friendship matters.. and my words are like javelins.. I can always throw it to the one I want to talk to.. and in the end.. somebody else gets hurt..

Seeing your tears filling up your eyes.. I couldn't take it.. The conversation still had to go on.. and deep in my heart.. I thanked Bra for bringing you away from the scene.. I didn't want to hurt the others which were innocent throughout this matter. And.. you were one of them..

I didn't know how things turned out like that..
I didn't understand my sudden urge to confess to you.. come to think of it..
It's just that I'm really scard losing you.. after all the things you had done for me.. and vice versa..(I didn't know if I did any..)

To say the truth.. the past me.. already fades.. No matter how well a person does it.. He/she can't return to the past.. anymore.. I'm trying hard.. to turn back.. to find the lost me. The me who keeps quiet, high-gei when nessecary, and only texts about 6 messages per month. Most importantly.. the old me was unable to talk to girls personally. And.. I had no idea why.

I'm scard.. frightened.. at the thought that you won't ever speak to me.. for a very long time being.. It happened to me in F1..with you-know-who.. When she knew that I liked her.. we were dead strangers for the next 2 years. I'm literally too shy to talk to her.. and I'm more involve in my gang of friends than into her. And thoughts fade.

Until now..
I met you.. I had no idea how we had become so close..
Was it because of the game? Was it because of the trip?
I don't know..

The only thing I know is I cherish all the moments with you.. from
Walking out of school.. Sitting beside you.. Your cookies.. Chatting..

Those are great memories for me.. for the first time.. I'm able to get through my invisible girl-shy wall..

Although.. most of the time.. I had to think about what to say.. and often.. I kept quiet.. as I'm not very good with personal talks with girls.. and most importantly, I scard I'm annoying you all this while.. Sometimes I wonder.. Why can't i treat you as openly as the way I treat Xiao Qi and Xin Ying.. and I always try to find a way to annoy you at least.. I got your attention.

And.. all this might end any second now..

And I really don't want it to end just like that..

To Bryan:

I don't know why.. but blog is my last resort to talk to you guys.

Maybe not you, but for me its easier to express thoughts in words.. without hurting anybody else.. anymore..

Bro, I'm actually scard now.. Scard of you.. Scard of people looking at me at a different angle.. in a different way. I'm holding back while I'm talking to you. Still I can still feel the warmth in you whenever I hug you and call you 'grizzly bear'.

Due to some misunderstandings.. I'd brought the awesome and innocent you into the scene.. the scene which I didn't think that I would explode. First time, anger, sadness, unfairness ran through me. I'm a open-minder, I don't mind criticism. But, when suddenly rubs my name in mud.. I've to clear it.

And, I didn't expect you're dragged into this.
I'm an emotional being..
Seeing you, kyan, ch and the rest.. crying.. my tears fell.

I expect happiness for 5 years in this school. And for the first time, I cried.. at the thought that I might lose you.. one of my brothers (I always treat you as one)..because of this shit. I'm in pain when I said those words.. To see your tears dripping because of this.. I feel guilty.. but I've to make things right.


The rest knew the story.. some suggested me to settle, some didn't..

But if someone's confusing the others..
I've to stop it. It's my natural instinct.


So, I'm sorry.. I really am..
To put you into this condition.. I am truly sorry.

I did say the wrong things.. I did hurt people (not physically anyways)


And one of them is you.. I'm really sorry..

Crying.. Emotional much..

Once more I'll say goodbye to you
Things happen but we don't really know why
If it's supposed to be like this
Why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?
Oh, yeah

Torn apart at the seams of my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feelin' this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like

Me.


Crying and blasting this song again and again..

The fear of trying to protect someone and losing someone else..

The fear of trying to awake someone and end up being neglected, ignored, thrashed, strung-out..

Life's gonna take a drastic change..


And

I'm gonna bengkui soon..

It Feels Better.. XD

FINALLY.. I'm able to say out what I feel.. It certainly make me feels much better after hiding all the stuffs inside me..

I'm gonna be my old.. joker.. cheery type of person like I was before soon.. X)

Since, there are less things to think about now..



Though, I hope the awkwardness can quickly past by..

I don't wanna make the same mistake twice..

Epic day.

Anyways, Fuck you Mr Tee. I wasted 30mins to rape that question and you want to cancel it at the eleventh hour. Bitch.


Muahaha.. Today get to sit with Xiao Qi, Xy and Pei Jean weih. Hehehe.. 3 girls pei me chat for the first half of the school day. Shared a lot of this and that and this and that. xD Get to know their secrets though, and they always act like problem solvers for me. Especially Xiao Qi, Epic Cute and Funny larh that fella.


Gome ne.. Feels so crap, nowadays can't really talk to you like I used to few months ago. :X RAWR. Hopefully you don't sien die. And truthfully I'm jealous lah, Yuen wong, you and Bryan purposely make me de lah. RAWRRRRRRRRR..


Eeesh, jealous face very nice to see meh..

Well, when someone's jealous, he's actually caring for you..

That's what you told me right? :P