Release me..

Hmm..
It feels good to have friends that's still supporting your back..

12th July 2012, 10.18 pm...

One day gone since I came back from the extra-tiring schedule.. The CO2 Car Competition and the HnG music camp. It was quite an incredible experience, having to learn so much from these 2 memorable yet thrilling event.

Talking about the Co2 car, it was quite frustrating and we were down in the dumps right after our first presentation, as we thought, it was pretty unfair to us as the time given was not right. We didn't manage to present finish with the best effort. Not only that, the judges were ridiculous and weren't smart enough to understand the mechanism of our simple 0-budget car.. Screw it.

The racing competition went as expected. Our car did its best and we were very proud of our creation. Although it did not get the maximum points for the Furthest-Distance Run, it got pretty close to the Set-Distance (3m mark) part. For the others teams, Isabel's one did great but it was not enough to compete with the rest. However, Shin Yin's group fall short, and many believed that their luck unfortunately ran out. Also, I reunited with some of my primary schoolmates, who also came for the competition. Their car wasn't that successful, and I was having a good laugh with them there. Their teammates were extremely humerous and joker. For your information, the presentations and racing took about 1/2 our time there. We were in Taylor's for about 8 hours but the actual competition time was only 4.. or maybe less. For the other time, most of the teams used it to prepare and remodify their car to increase its speed, reduce its mass.. or whatever. Unlike them, we, the Coveready, just slacked all along, sleeping, playing games, chatting and also dancing to the Sexy and I Know It.

Yep it was an amazing experience. Rawr.

On the next day of the competition came the camp.. and it was a very heartwarming camp not to mention I got to play on Chia's Gibson Les Paul <3.

It was my first time overnighting in my friend's home and sure my parents didn't like it.

This week was a gloomy week for me.. Especially with the effing ulcers on my mouth. I couldn't speak clearly or even have a glass of water without enduring the intense pain. I couldn't laugh, which I do most of the times. Also, I didn't get to compete in the inter-class basketball competition.. which may be my last basketball competition in school. Haiz.. sometimes I just wish I was better so I can lead my class as a team, but no.. our class lacks of what we call integration. Khai Seong and the s9 team made it into the Finals tomorrow. It will sure gonna be a match that brings pure entertainment and team spirit, with s9's court leader Tat Shing.

Oh well, all the best to them and hopefully my ulcer is gonna recover soon. Gah..

Prom prom prom.. The news of prom was spreading in my class and quickly became the hot topic. My table of classmates had already settled down but the other group hasn't. Though surprisingly, most of them already got partners and still wanna ffk.. LOL.

Gah.. now think about it.. most people already got a partner..

Shall I take a step forward too?

Everyday is a brand new day..

It's time to leave the memories behind and start to move on..


2nd July 2012, 9.55pm..

It's the second day of the last term of my final school year. It's time where we can see people start to pour in effort in their work and studies and stuffs. This is where we can see true friendships that count, people who would lend you a hand when you're down. Sometimes, deep down inside, I feel that I'm like a girl hiding my sadness and disappointments behind smiles and laughter. Only some of them, some maybe like John who can really see that.. I am not alright.

It's been a fucking frustrating year for me. What more.? To be engaged in complicating stuffs.. and now.. I have to deal with the class seating. Why is everyone switching places so frequently that I have no constant place to sit. Seriously, why always me? I don't mind people sitting at my place but please.. at least ask my permission before you make that place YOURS. Look at the class seating please.

You know?

I didn't know who the fuck started this when all of a sudden, I realized that I was not seating with John anymore. My place had been illegally invaded. To top it all, I had become a Nomad since then, moving from places to places. I'm not an early-reacher.. I can't fight for a place to seat early. Most of the times, I had to deal with seating alone, and to tell you honestly, I can't stand being alone. Somehow, I slowly feel that I'm not that significant as an ehstrian, although to say the truth, I love everyone of them.

You know?

You can't fake feelings. No matter how good you are. It was a good day last Saturday playing basketball with Jian Wei and Khai Seong. Talking to them really helped me let go all of my thoughts and focus on my gameplay. To say the truth, I'm a bad basketballer myself.. playing averagely, selfish most of the time, not able to shoot, but alas I believe I'm a contributor to the team. Except during PJPK, which my teammates are normally worse.


Gosh..

Talking about contributing to the team.. I felt guilty for joining the Co2 Team. It's not my kind of thing and I'm dragged into the team to fill up their last man. I don't like it to say the truth. Although I'm assigned with the presentation job, I believe Zhong Yih can alone put up a better show and performance compared to me. So why did they choose me..? I seriously don't understand. Rainbow and Xiang got better quality, better mind set in winning things like these. Why did they pulled out and let me fill the last place.


It sucks being a guy who cares too much,
It just doesn't worth it.

It's fine getting hurt anywhere,
but the heart of a guy.

Peace out.

Remembrance..

It's not the first time I felt anti-social in class..
Sometimes I just don't know where to go and who to talk to..
Sometimes plain emptiness just dawn on me.. confining my mind.

Sigh.. I need someone to talk to, someone to throw my feelings at.
And so I did.

Few months back, there was this special moment I had with Pei Jean.. which was the Keng Sam Si session. Back then, it was kinda cool, as we often cut classes and hid at the corner of the corridor just to share our thoughts and secrets as a form 4 teenager. Since the start of the year, we didn't really talk much anymore. Until the Wednesday before.. I saw her reading a book, a novel which the line was in vertical positioning. The cover mentioned something about.. "Stay happy" kind of stuffs.

"What are you reading?" That was how I started a conversation with her. And we ended up strolling down the memory lane.. and some moment of truth. Then Bra, came in.. and there were more moment of truth. Glad everyone there was able to share it out truthfully.. and sincerely. We all realized that, we matured incredibly fast.. and the past that we shaped had been long forgotten, like piece of unwanted, immature piece of memories. Well maybe I will keep some of them for life though.

You know.. My tuition teacher trashed and rejected my essay with a disgraceful tone in the class. It left me on the verge of tears, knowing that the effort and time and thoughts that I poured into my piece of work belonged in the dumpster. Argh.. now I have to crack my head to mould another piece of work - with the chance of getting the same treatment.



Strong and blur appearance outside..
Weak and focus inside..

How much can you see?

I'd be indifferent..

Not supposed to be online now.. I should really dig a hole and bury myself down in the puddle of mud. My appalling results had cast a spell of disgrace and disappointment on me. I'm okay with that but, hopefully my parents don't find me as a disappointment to them. It's a terrible thing to do, seeing your parents shed tears over what the responsibilities that you had taken as a student and also, as the eldest.

In comparison to me, both my siblings are able to score splendidly in their exams, and they make it look really easy.. like Mario collecting coins. Sigh.. I wonder was it me that who did not put in extra effort, or they had been secretly working hard? Knowing my brother, who is definitely smarter and more cunning than me, is able to pull through exams with his raw talent. His records proved it. My sister, the not so smart one, normally pours in her diligence and perseverance in crafting great results. I admire her for that.

Friends.

Glad to have friends like Dragon and Khai Seong, who accompanied me all the way to summit to purchase a new pair of Basketball Shoes. Amazingly though, Bear also splashed his cash on a pair of shoes himself. The trip took almost the whole day out of us and it ended all the way at Dragon's house. Anyways, Dragon if you ever see this, I just want to say
thanks a lot bro. (:

Adrenalin Mob - Indifferent

"Looking back on my life.."

It's amazing that I'm already a Form 5, waiting to graduate from my secondary/middle school and head towards highschool/college. It feels like in a blink of an eye, everything changed. From what I learn, and what I know, and what I am interested of. And who I care for.

Why am I posting all these stuffs? I don't know. John said that my blog had become an EMO blog. Well, partly the truth lolx.

Anyways,

I've done an As I Lay Dying - Moving forward song and a cover for the intro-verse-chorus for Set The World On Fire by Symphony X. Be sure to check it out. :)


and Boston lost to Miami.. Agh..

Tired.. Fear..

10.48p.m.

It's been a while since I last updated my blog.. Hmm.. it's been exams circling all over my mind for the past weeks so I didn't have time to pour my time into online blogging. I do wonder sometimes whether are there any readers visiting my blog.. or all my efforts and feelings poured here just for my own entertainment and excitement.

Today might be the worse day of my life.. I had no fucking soul or life in me today. I can't feel any enthusiasm in me carrying out activities for the whole day, which is very wrong. It just seems like the world doesn't matter anymore. For the first time these feelings came.. Weird much.

Oh yeah, I have been working on my Shooting lately with Khai Seong. Finally saw some improvements. To go with the training, I actually ripped my basketball shoes. Crap. The base of the shoes had been ripped out and it's not easy to be replaced. How do you actually glue back the sole of the shoes, come on it's basketball man. So, to solve it all, we plan to go seek for a new pair of shoes. Well, there goes my Adidas.

My biggest fear..

I was wondering whether I wrote the wrong story line for my topic. It's the truth anyways, I am afraid of pop-up ghosts and horror stuffs. sigh.

Still Isabel's idea of 'My Biggest Fear is Losing You'.. was pretty impressive. However too bad she didn't write it, or not it would be a great essay based on her caliber. :P

But still who would she be scard of losing..? Apart from her family and relatives. :P


Somehow, I can't get enough rest.. is it because I have been going online too much.?

Nevermind.. as long as I spend time on Astro Tutor TV.. should be able to keep up with my studies.

Oh yeah.. Add maths project.

==

Shh.. XD

1am..

Today's Mother's Day, I'm suppose to wake up at 8 later to help out my siblings in preparing a so-called-surprise-breakfast for my mom. Yeah, we are gonna cook. Well not me maybe, I think I might just stand there and kelefeh or watch out.. and wait to eat later.

Okay, so basically, everybody is tense and pressure with the on-going exams, which is going to last for another two weeks. 3 days had already passed, I did okay I guess. Didn't have time to think so much. Well, for the past couple of months, I started to see how an exam can reflect on one's personality. The used-to-be rampaging class had turned into a grave with dead silence.

Creepy. Yeah.

How unexpected to see people change that much because of the exams. Now, talking to people is becoming more stress. Upon stumbling them.. those not-so-close ones, the opening topic of our conversation wouldn't be 'Hey how's life? (:' anymore. Shocking to see when I met some friends, especially those who are really exam-conscious ones, they would always be the first to say 'Hey you study finish already ah?' or 'Hey, your class got any tips for exams?'.. These two type of conversation starters may as well act as finishers. I'm starting to get annoyed with people like this. Sigh.

Human nature now tells me that once people get stressed of a certain thing they want to accomplish. They can't take things off their mind. Studying is our responsibility, yes. But, what for studying to compete, when the main reason we actually study is to gain knowledge from it.

Xin Ying actually enlightened me with this sentence,
"We study isn't because of gaining good results, but to gain knowledge from it"

And now, I totally agree with it.

Although saying all these shit, I still have to put in effort to get an at least reasonable and satisfying result by this mid-term exams. Don't wanna disappoint my parents.



So anyways, after seeing Paul Gilbert's video lesson, which I learn a lot, my motivation to play in a band has raised by leaps and bounds. Ah, hopefully if there's a chance, I still wanna perform live on stage. But before that day can come, I might have to go pierce a few earholes and tattoo myself with the hope of changing my personal appearance.

But, some things just can't be taken away.

My tui looks.

SAD.

Boredom.

This sucks. Exam's around the corner and I seem to lost focus on everything. Shit. Lord, what good timing is this.. == Seriously, this can deal a great blow to my hard work that I had grind on for the past few months.

Geezus, yesterday I just had my first 'Caffeine Rush' after having Cocoa Cuppuccino in Starbucks. Well, what I initially thought was that I would be able to have a better sleep for the school on the next day. Contrary to what I thought, I wasn't able to fall asleep and woke up 3.30p.m filled of energy and ended up rolling around on the bed hugging my pigs. Lifeless.

So I came to realization that there's not much time to waste as exam's coming. So, at 4a.m in the morning the lights were on and in my hand, held the Sejarah Reference Book. Managed to finish studying 1 Chapter before the clock struck 5.
And at 5, I went to copy an essay.

Hell yeah, that's not the end yet.

I went to school with complete concentration.. and that lasted until recess.

Must'd been the Avenged Sevenfold concert.
Fuck yeah, it was my first concert and it ended up pretty cool, glass shattering, total madness.
Well, the atmosphere was superb, filled with smokers and rockers.

Haha, the part when someone shouted 'HERE COMES THE BITCHES..' when a bunch of girls came into the field made me LMAO.
Getting stuck in the mosh pit was not a good idea though.

Okay, that's about it.. Back to books.


Must have stabbed her 50 fucking times.