Success, in Google dictionary, is defined as 'the accomplishment of an aim or purpose'. It is merely a word to describe the outcome of a situation, nevertheless, the view of 'success' can be very subjective.
We cannot run away from this word in reality. Being born into not only an Asian but a Chinese family, this word has already been imprinted into my life, I believe, even before I am born. The typical Chinese community has a overwhelming sense of pride, and can be seen quite clearly that 'success' seems to be a trait that can be used to show off or act as a comparison tool. This therefore, results in the term 'kiasu' - afraid of losing, a term which Malaysians love to use to label the Singaporeans.
Over the years of having exams, I had literally no stress in facing them. I do not worry about the thought of facing the exams and have no idea why. Not even the gruesome A-levels paper inflicted the level of stress which actually cause me to worry about the papers. To me, if you study, you will not fail, that's that. Unless, the individual has something at stake or did not study at all, then undeniably the stress level can be high prior to exams.
This though, might be the explanation for me to not achieve the best possible results for ANY of my examinations. I could only get average results or above average results at best. However, unlike some of my peers, I treat examination days just like any usual day and well just want to get the day done with, not thinking of my results. Therefore, when I told friends about what I think about when facing my exams, some of them are quite envious.
Success, however, in the modern community is used as a comparison between individual. As an individual you might acknowledge your success, but from the society you can be a failure. I guess this is one of the reasons of how stress emerge and conquer the minds of people, especially the young ones.
A clear example would be seeing how parents like to compare their children's results among each other. This is one scenario that never fails to happen every time after the results of the latest examinations were released. There can be four type of parents, those who simply don't care about the results at all, those who care about the improvement of their own child and awards the child when improvement is seen, those who care about the improvement but punishes the child for not being able to achieve results same as his peers, and those who just show off their children. Social comparison theory tells us that people compare to know their standards in the society.. fair enough. Other than that, it also tells us that people tend to compare with people weaker than them to feel better. Therefore, all I can say is don't be that kind of parents who just want to show off how well your children did. It's stupid. A well-known fact, our country's education is deteriorating, and the demand of tuition for the children of every household is on the rise, even during the period of primary school. Doesn't that mean those parents who are able to send their children to tuition has an advantage in getting the best outcome? Sending children to as many tuition as possible, robbing their childhood.., albeit getting the best results, is that success to you?
Like I said, success is subjective. I can be rich and it is success to me, but to the richer ones, they might call me a failure. Thus, in this scenario, it tests the strength of will power, do you accept yourself as a successful person or a failure? Are you going to care about what other people think? This is basically how thoughts get swindled and when people fall into this trap, confidence gets destroyed.
As long as you believe on the dictionary definition of success, you can basically lead a happy life as I believe most people can accomplish their aim. Obviously, this also depends on what are you trying to aim for and how much effort did you put in to accomplish it. Basically what I am trying to say is to achieve success for yourself and not what other want you to be. Just live your way and fuck what other thinks about you.
Whenever you are being compared, just think of the basis of Social Comparison Theory - they are just trying to compare with you to think of where they stand in the society, that doesn't mean you are at the bottom, it is just that they are one step above you. Rather than having the thought of you are the failure and he/she is the successor, just think that both of you are successful and that he/she is more successful than you.
Use that as your motivation to strive for greater heights.
I firmly believe that there is no failure in life, and as long as you are here in this world, there is always 'success' for you to find. And it's up to you to decide whether to hunt for it or not.
Signing off,
Jayden
