Sob sob..

Lyrics:

Youre gone.
Youre gone.

Your bodys cold,
Hope is lost,
I cant let go.
Can I die with you so we can never grow old?
Cut the ties,
With this note you left behind,
As I read the word I hear you telling me why.

Too late, too late,
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late,
Cant even ask you why.
Now Im wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope youre finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

My sadness shows,
As your name is carved in stone,
Cant erase the words so the reality grows.
I wish I died,
On that right by your side,
So just kill me now and let the good times roll.

Too late, too late,
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late,
Cant even ask you why.
Now Im wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope youre finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

Will you wait for me?
Will I see you on the other side?
You wont have to wait too long.
(Yeah, yeah)
Will you come for me?
Will you take me to the other side?
Cause here I dont belong.

-- epic solo --

Too late, too late,
I never said goodbye
Too late, too late,
Cant even ask you why.
Now Im wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope youre finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

I never said goodbye
Cant even ask you why.
Now Im wasting,
Away in my own misery.
I hope youre finally gone,
To a place where you belong.

..
...
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..
Nononono..
Fuckin lyrics..
T.T

AHHHHHHHHHHH.. XD

OH, I FINALLY REALIZE SOMETHING. HOPEFULLY IT ISN'T TOO LATE. :D

Exams.

Bored..

Was staring at Mitosis and Meiosis basically the whole day..

Kinda bored out of studying, Sigh. Such determination for the first time exams.

Well, I came out with a decent plan to solve it all.

Aim: Fail First Term, and get Superb results for Second Term.

So, when my parents come visiting, at least I can say there's improvement. LOL

Well, I guess this year I wouldn't get complaints from my form teacher. I'm seriously pissed with Siti Mariam, for comparing me with the other Prefects. Damn, how can she even put Me and Zhong Yih in phase. I'm at the foot of the hill that time and Zhong Yih is in the Space already. Screw, better chase after him. Before people start comparing prefects again. :X

Actually, Kinda lost all my Ohm and Motivation for this term. RAWR, where the hell d' all the motivation from last year gone to? ToT..

I haven't been setting targets this year, since I have been drowning in happiness that I reached my aim, and eventually got accepted later on.. (Weee.. XD yep couldn't sleep that night).. was in seventh heaven. XD

Now, seeing friends all working like bees.. I'm really tensed now..

Scared.

Frightened.

Because of some examination. And heck, SPM's haven't reach yet..


Back to staring at dreaded history text book..
Hopefully I won't get too frustrated and tear the book into half.. after seeing my Success Biology divided itself into half this morning. LOL

Emo phase..?

Dear Diary:

Friday:
Isabel was by my side. Zhong Yih, John, Wyn Yun, Mun Chun, Yi Lin, Xiao Qi.. all by my side when I'm going through the same phase that I thought, I'd never walked again. Yet I did. Yet I did. I had no idea what was the group I used to be in thinking. I really wanna join them, but I was tired, tired of the flow of gossips and secrets.
It's unfair to say that, I had no really no idea, what were they talking all the time. But from the cold treatment from the people I was receiving lately, from that particular group lately.. it seriously hurt me from the inside.

I really don't know what I've been doing wrong lately, somehow I don't feel really welcomed in that area anymore. Yeah, nobody is wrong this time. What if.. What if.. a lot of what if's are flooding in.

Been talking a lot with Zhong Yih lately, and also John. (: Since I'm always remaining constant in my seat, time to time I have been scanning around the area. Mun Chun's completely change into a study geek, to replace the wasted time. Somehow, everybody change. The whole world change. Some people realize.. some people got fucked up. To admit, I always had the feeling that I'm gonna be fucked up this year...

______________________________________________________________________

I had a crush on Isabel before..
The crush stayed on for 4 years..
And in that 4 years, I was constantly shy and afraid to talk to her.
Because of Isabel alone, I left out talking to other girls.
Every time I wanna talk, I got shy.

Just now, Isabel read my dairy, without me knowing. I tried to warn her about my dark thoughts, dark side of me which no one, had ever seen before. Somehow I realized that I'm getting evil and more evil. Shit. I'm suppose to be the mindless and carefree brat that's been living for abt 17 years. Screw.. She read through my dairy, without uttering a single word. And for the very first time, someone praised me for being able to write like that.

After finishing reading, she wrote a few advices on the back pages.



And there I sat alone, reading the advices, with tears flowing..

Kaboom. :D

Hi earth.

10.26p.m.. tick tock.

In a blink of an eye, one day is gonna pass. Man, sometimes sitting in class alone, it's when all the thoughts gushing into the mind. Form 5 now, exams, assignments, exams, clubs, I could still remember the first day coming into this school as a cute innocent young fella with a bright future ahead of him. Seriously, after all these years, I have seen all types of people now, who branches out to different fields, or with their specialty and talent.

For Example, my idol in this school. Until now, although he had been expelled out of the PB, which I really blame the fucking Joyce for that, I'm still trying to keep contact with him. A very good friend that one can have. :) This guy, is no other than Yuen Foong, the guy who inspired me to pick up a guitar and taught me several classical pieces.

I'm a Trinity Grade 5 student, approaching my grade 8 next year, after 4 years of playing. Due to my cant-be-bothered attitude, my guitar skills is coming to a downfall unfortunately. Plus, my theory sucks, my hearing sucks as well. I can play, but cant play at a high level, as my interest still remains in the pick, and the sound of an electric guitar. XD


My Ibanez is 2 1/4 years old now.. and my Cuenca is 1 1/2 years old btw.

So, today's pjk.

My class started off with something special today - Jumping hurdles, for boys only.

Well, I managed to skip past all the obstacles. (pretty scared though) Dared not put the burden too much on my left knee. One harsh landing and sooner or late, I would be lying down on the field, face flat. Screw. :X

Still, I'm still patiently waiting for the day when basketball sets into play. :D

Need to get couple of shots in the hole man. (Y)

Oh yeah and the birth-giving vid today.. HOLISHYT.

And so, Mr Tee did it for the first time during Valentines' MINDFUCK. O.O

Game On..

Stronger mental strength. :D

Exam mood's somehow not on yet eh? Me? Definitely feeling the pressure piling along my back. Homeworks' burning me up. Complicated Mathematics and Additional Mathematics working my brains off, killing up my brain cells. There's much more things to think of now. My once, placid and free mind is filled with shit stuffs nowadays.. and maybe a touch of Happy Memories. XD


Oh-em-gee..
Hate to see my friend being Emo shit nowadays. First time seeing him being so serious so passionate, but getting turned down, denied and rejected man. O: Confined in his room, trying to forget everything from the past few days. Cannot blame him juga. Similarly to me, his physically strong but mentally a pussy. Of All,

My Biggest Fear : Horror movies.
His Biggest Fear : Girls.

Gawd. :3

Indirectly communicating with the dark side of me in my tiny little monologue.. Ahh screw.. when did I last have my dark side, after living life for 17 years.. Great. #scribblescribblescribble


Oh yeah, thinking too much also worn me out lately. Natural for me to think of all sorts of stuffs, no matter love or hate, and let my imagination run wild. Not necessary a good thing though. Thinking too much can cause a lot of trouble, jealousy and misunderstanding. Tested and certified. Not to mention, it has caused me to be lethargic almost at all times. Dang, can't even keep my eyes wide open recently. (Anyways, when did I really open my eyes fully.. O:) So yeah.



Elloh Baka..
Dont dare to stare me d ka?.. o.o
Then Imma stare into your eyes from now on and see what're you thinking..
Muahaha. XD



"No one knows what the future holds. It's possibilities are limitless. This, is the choice of Steins;Gate."

Hacking to the Gate; Steins;Gate.

First Valentine?

So this was my entry for my dairy yesterday:

‘今天将会做到自己想象不到的事’..

Until today, I still couldn't really believe it though..

So this was what happened yesterday..

Parted ways with my girlfriend,
Got a bar of chocolate from her.. which came unexpectedly. (Aww.. <3)
Camped in physics lab, desperately trying to finish up the Valentine's Card.
Took out the necklace with with both bronze and silver hearts on it.
Held the necklace in my hand, gripping it tight.
Dashed towards library with John by my side, Jean and Xing Yi leading the way.
Waited patiently with the killing suspense (John say de) outside the library.
Walked in, saw my girl with the eyes close.
Got behind her, help her wore the necklace from the back.

Okay the last one failed. XD My clumsiness got the better of me at last. Epic fail. Though I finally got it right, and made sure that the necklace stayed around her. (:

Epic things happened afterwards but, I will skip that for now.

Well, special thanks to everyone who helped me along the way though, especially Mun Chun and Yi Zen. (X Helped me with the idea, and also retrieved the necklace for me. o.o

It was not a normal thing to do, to go with Valentines Day in particular. For the past four year, I hadn't realized this day at all as to do me, it was a normal day, normal life.

Not this year..
I got to celebrate with my girlfriend and spent time together..
Not as long as expected but still.. happy enough. (:
Though I still had no idea why John described us as the weirdest couple? Lolx.

Gonna tuition soon though. Gonna end here first.


Thanks for letting me be your Valentine..
Arigato baka. XD

Thoughts..

I can collect all the plushies I want..

But there's only one that I would hug and sleep with..

as it gives out a different feel than the others.

Recently, I have been writing out my thoughts, the dark side of me in my small notepad. The adrenalin to do that started all of a sudden though.

Too many dark thoughts, rubbish thoughts, thoughts shouldn't even be there, all written in one tiny book.

If life is much simpler.. :P



Gome for not letting you read the dairy..
I will when the time's right..
So man man deng ba.. XD

Why,,

Why have you been so cold lately..

I'm worried and afraid you know.. ToT

Serious?

Chinese New Year, the annual major festival featured with various styles of celebrations is finally coming to an end. The end of the festival, however, puts an important signal to us Form fives that it is really time to buckle up ourselves and start motivating and give ourselves a meaningful push for our future.

Human can never have enough push eh? With laziness occasionally blocking our way. :P

Many meaningful events had happened during CNY this year, especially the trip-to-10-houses organized by no other than Hsien Loong, my so-called brother.. and heng dai. (X With visits to everyone's house and also Puan Chee's house, which I won a stack of bucks there, we surely created such great memories. Seldom do one get chances to participate in a 12-men van trip all around from Petaling Jaya-Puchong-Serdang area in one single day eh? Plus, got to play some intense basketball at an open field nearby Mun Chun's house. :P Back to 5-on-5 formation with.. Me, Lian Jiet, Yun, Khai Seong and Quan. :D Dominated the game man, but left the court with blisters. O:

So, somehow things have started to complicate a bit. :P Hehehe.. with Wyn Yun and Lii Xiang's friendship starting to get more and more off the handle? Muahaha. :P Sorry, I can't resist but to mention this. XD Well, had no idea since when both of them got so close, which sometimes to make me wonder eh. Since Yun's one hell of a brother, I just can't stop taking note of it. Muahaha. :P Let's see wether those 2 will burn into flames. XD

Hell, how many glasses of alcohol had I been drinking for the past few weeks. Let's see, few cans of Carlsberg, few glasses of red, white wines.. yeah, taking incredible amount of alcohol seriously causing me a nausea nowadays. Dizziness. O: Shall reduce the intake of alcohol starting from now and live a healthier lifestyle. (:

Give it all to A7x.. They're coming to town. Hopefully I'm allowed to go for the concert. It will be my first time going to a crowd of ppl XD.



Valentine's coming.. I don't think I'm in forever-alone state this year..
So..
Let's see what surprise I can bring for you,
Kay? (x



Song Quote:
"These thoughts will carry me, through the darkest nights, while your eyes rest in mine.."
- The Darkest Nights; As I Lay Dying