When I'm Gone..

But what happens when karma turns right around and bite you?
And everything you stand for turns on you to spite you?

-When I'm Gone lyrics

I think its the best song I've heard from Eminem. A sad soul inside a rapper's body.


I'm mentally stressed out these days, partly with my online game and the exam. I didn't take any naps at all coming back from school every evening. There's no time anyways.. I do not like taking naps at 4p.m coming back from school. It's shitty man.. I don't like waking up at night.. and have to stay awake for a couple hours before falling into my rapid-eye-movement sleep.

Mentally stressed out, physically I'm down too, having no time to do sports nowadays. But if I do get the chance, it's going down HARD. Loving the intensity of competition heh. Well, the main reason of not doing any sports is because I do not want to injure myself.. Especially my fingers and also my already-injured left knee. It's the 3rd year getting along with the occasionally-dislocated-left knee. Dislocation sounds painful right. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu dipikul. The feeling is hell, its like a time bomb- can happy anywhere, any time and any slight movement will trigger it. The worst part is you had to relocate it back again by stretching ur leg straight and wait for the ligaments to pull and click the bones together.

It hinders my movement. My vertical jumps are limited. Any two foot action sport can possibly catch my knee by accident. and I think, it would be impossible to fix it back..



SPM Papers are breezing past me like wind, true enough, neither do I feel the anxiety or the stress coming my way. Everything, just storm pass me and neither did I persevere in any of them. Just took things my way, the light way. This attitude of facing exam sure is relax, but can be costly. Well, its just SPM.. that's what I thought.. it could never be any harder than our school..

True enough, its near impossible to compare the standards of SPM to our CHS.. it is a definite striking contrast.


Recently, I keep dreaming..
And somehow, I realized the it was a dream when I was in my dream..
However, I couldn't really control my movement.. but could hear what was I saying in the conversations between me and my dream..
It was something like an RPG game... but mostly I dreamed of my friends around me.

Sometimes, it was a terrible nightmare, as I dreamed of pretty unpleasant things..
Sometimes, it was something shocking yet.. too good to be true.

Everything seemed so good.. but in the end, I woke up and everything was a dream, non-existing yet so real.


Sometimes, you get the feeling you regretted waking up..as

It might be the last time that,

everything went perfectly right.




And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back.

So smile more yo.. :)