Alone, Desolate, Solitary

My family ended up going overseas, without me. Well, it's my choice anyways, I refused to go to a foreign country without following a tour. In my book, it's a waste of precious $ and also my guess now is, they are travelling like a headless chicken. :p

On the other hand, there are stuffs to be done, things to study, in a very limited time as the end of year draws close. To the Edexcel students from Help, this can only signify one thing, the A-level exam is right by the corner. Its two months from that big day to be exact and I can already feel the pressure from the lecturers threatening us to do well. (I'm serious) Everyday, I'm hearing the same shit from the lecturers..

I can even you give you some quotes here.

'You guys better do well. If you don't score paper 2,3,4 you're gonna be in big trouble.'
'We fully expect 120 from everyone of you, nothing less, it has been done before'
-Ms Jaslinder

'Paper 2,3,4 is the killer there. You score 120 for paper 2 the A is there. Cannot run one.'
'Most of you are the B to A there.. I can only see 1 or 2 A* students there'
-Mr Lim

'Sorry, I'm on medical leave, when can I set the replacement class?'
-Ms Geetha

'Why I teach finish then everyone absent from the class'
'If you come to every revision class, I confirm all of you pass'
-Mdm Lin

Last but not least..
'Jayden, hahaha, die la you'

Apart from Ms Geetha, 3 other teachers have placed a substantial amount of stress on us. Though, optimistically, its for own good.

So back to the weekends.

On the past Saturday, I went to my dad's shop to help out, as my cousin, who is working for my dad, was surprisingly on leave as well. So I had to follow my aunt there.

To be honest, working at your own dad's shop, to me, doesn't really give you much experience. I have had debates with my dad now and then about things that I can learn if  helped out in his shop. Contrary, I would never fail to refute back to him that how I think that my trips are not worthwhile. The debate isn't a kind one, as somehow on this matter, we just cannot agree with each other. Every time I speak to him regarding this, the tone of my voice become intense progressively, as blood keeps rushing to my brain.

Dad always label my thoughts as naive, and this is why I am pretty persistent to prove him wrong. Yes, he does have the upper hand to say that he had experienced a lot through the years, however, there's always the possibility that sometimes, people just don't agree on what the experience one has to say.

Every single time I talk to my dad, I have the urge and obligation to start thinking and shaping up my future. I am the eldest among the three, however, I'm the one out of the spotlight as my siblings are a striking contrast to me in terms of talent. My lacklustre and dilly dally outlook are constantly judged by my parents, since highschool. Up til college my outlook didn't change, however, little did they know that a part of me have matured mentally. I started to study, started to paying attention in class, started to do my own research. People take tuitions, I decide to grind my way out, even though my lecturer's teaching sometimes render me speechless and restless.

It all pay off in my first semester results, although not the best of scores, the full 5 As in my result slip is enough to put a smile on my dad and mom's face. My siblings could hardly believe my results. That was the first time I had seen my dad become so enthusiastic about my future, the first time I felt that my hard work and perseverance were approved by him. Immediately, that night, he started asking me which UK University I wanted to go, and told his friends that his son is going to UK.

This is the reason til today, have driven me on and on to get a good result and a fucking place in a UK University.
 I just want to prove to my dad that 'Hey, you have a son that fight and earn his place in the UK University.

However, to come to that level, its like reaching for the moon.
And if I can't take a rocket there,
 I'm fucking gonna walk through the ozone.

'It's been a journey, the NBA. It's taken me a lot farther than I ever expected.'

-Larry Bird

Duplication

I'm feeling kinda disillusioned, demoralized, destroyed by the Physics mock exam from yesterday. The questions were imbalanced, literally. Normally exam-style papers come with both easy and tough questions at the same time, however, this paper - set by none other than Mr Lim, showed no mercy to any of the students. It definitely broke all of our confidence momentarily towards capturing the A* in A-Levels.. as the hard work and effort we put in during those sleepless nights, harping and chewing on repeated stacks of notes were to no avail of answering those absurd questions.

It's convincing though that, many of us are quite confident that we would not do that well for the exam and thus, ended up volunteering to join the 'Roti Kosong' Game, and shockingly, Esther included. For your information, I started the Roti Kosong game for the last class test to punish those that got the highest among us group of people. So the objective of this game is, the top scorer among us will have to belanja roti kosong, a piece each, to the participants of the game, in exception of the lowest scoring one, who in turn will get two.

So, this is the retarded bit, and I guess you can call it karma. I ended up getting the highest among the group, along with Shi Yong (not surprising). -_- and we had to belanja everyone in the game, so all of them got two pieces. And the lowest scoring one got 4 piece.. LOL.

Recently, I'm engrossed to Dota 2, after learning the ropes to the game. It was a difficult transition period for me, from Map Observing, Killing and even Warding. I wasn't used to the graphics as things seemed to be messy compared to Dota 1. Luckily that only lasted a while though, and now every Thursday Friday Saturday, I would spend some time off the studies to dota with my Group A classmates. We are pretty good individually but, haplessly, our teamwork aren't the same YET.

Well, I guess chemistry isn't built in a day.

On to the next thing, one of my brothers, Mr Kelvin, had officially coupled. Well, all the best to him. Now, he is succumbed to all the teasing and jokes that our gang drown him with. But not bad lah, at least he escaped the Bachelor's Party and got a pretty pretty and cute gf too. ;)

Also, to be honest, this also made me thought about all these relationships and stuffs.

The last for me didn't end very well. I supposed this experience had placed a great influence towards my thoughts of having a relationship. My mentality has changed, and towards this matter, I feel that I have become more mature in this subject. Though, sincerely speaking, seeing my friends, (though not many yet), slowly leaving and started hanging out pair by pair, it indirectly gives me a feeling of loneliness.

This is not a rushing matter anyways. The most important thing is to find the right one and make her my last.



“Everything negative - pressure, challenges - are all an opportunity for me to rise.”

Kobe Bryant 

#Motivation.

Summary

Okay guys, since I have been so inactive for about a month now, I will give you guys a brief update about what I had been doing and what am I doing now in the present..

It's a lot of stuffs definitely, never expected my college life to be so time-consuming and packed at the same time.

August - The Sem Break.
-Hanoi, Vietnam
-Sick Sick and more Sick.
-A-levels results..(5As but all at border so yea.. bittersweet i guess? )
-Angel Beats
-Choosing Universities
-Back to college few days before the classes resume for a SASA motivation talk
-Baskin Robbins 2 Quartz 4 Pint

September - Hardcore time
-Back to college (Bittersweet yet again..)
-Struggle and Hustle in daily life
-Failing experiments
-SASA Camp (3 days 2 nights at Gopeng)
-Hustle after Camp due to compilation of undone homework.
-Hustle to pass up CV.
-Puay Chai 2 6k Gathering.

Last but not least, 10km of Jog for Hope.

MAMA, I finished the run still living hahahaha. Was 15 mins late to be in the qualifying time. Close enough la.. (:

Gotta ciao.. another test later in the morning. @.@

Panic button.

We, the Sasa Group were having a field day until at night where something unexpected happened, which was a car accident - a minor one yet, was made serious.

Being in these Sasa debates for a few times til now, I believed everyone of us had chaired and became the timekeeper of the event. Doing so, we had a chance to listen to a portion of the debates that had been going on for the past two days.. and to be honest, (if you really listened to the debates and verdicts), for the winning teams, its the points and the righteousness of their points and thoughts that won them their debate.

For what happened just now, I wasn't very clear as I was busying calling my dad. Seemingly, everything was settled ( for the meantime ), but I would guess that the samsengs would make a least one last call to try the get the most out of us.

Together with Lenard, we went home and together with my family, we took things to the negotiation table at the living room. 

This is my side of the view at that time,

Firstly, I wasn't panicking at all in the car, I didn't know that we actually got hit. When I saw someone approaching, with my deep yet blurry sounding voice, I warned us to lock the cars immediately.

I hope you guys will remember this.. and equally, I am also basing my own driving experiences in what had occurred just now.

1. 

As the people behind were panicking, it came to my mind that 'Wait, didn't that guy hit our bumper, who's at fault now?' It really REALLY came to my surprise that they even dared to open their mouth ask for compensation for medical fees. Are you fucking kidding me. Though that, its a normal behaviour for us to get scared as due to our current situation of fitting 8 people in the car.

My dad's counter:

It's probably a scam. They hit your bumper, therefore they were clearly at fault. It weren't logical and legit if we were to put things like 'Breaking the rules on the road' and being involved in an actually 'Accident'. Both situation actually involved different mechanism whereby 'Hey, although we were having 8 people in the car, we were driving at 30km/h.' We CLEARLY DIDN'T make a sudden stop anyhow and they were at fault to not take notice of our car. So even if they reported us about having 8 people in the car, there weren't a direct relation to the accident we are having. So there's nothing to be afraid of.

2.

When I was making a phone call to my dad, I heard a lot of panicky voices and some really dangerous decision-making like 'Get down the car' and 'Oh shit, It's my fault'. 

Counter:

For those of you who had not met this type of situations yet.. Please REALLY BEAR IN MIND that the first thing when you hit someone or someone hits you, no matter intentionally and not intentionally is to calm down and drive to the roadside. If someone hits you from the back, first thing you guys should do is to look in the mirror and RECORD DOWN the number plate. It is the paramount procedure for every occurrence in accidents. Next, if someone approaches you, just wind down your screen and try to negotiate it or delay the conversation to somewhere bright or crowded in people. Don't ever come off your car, even if they forced you down. Try to delay matters or if possible, convince them to settle the incident at the nearest police station. This is to ensure you can buy some time for yourself to call and get your parents involved and avoid unnecessary engage with the unknowns.

Scams like this always happens. We often hear and glance through the newspapers with topics and headlines highlighting the incidence of 'Fake accidents' resulting in things known as car robbery. We were actually lucky to have 8 people in the car according to my dad. They didn't get the chance to really make a move. Let's just say what if they came up with parang? The world its not nice you know.

Also, think properly. If his buddy was injured, don't you think he would care more about the buddy then to get that rm 300 medical fee? Would that let us go that easily? What about the broken lights and broken parts and bits of motorcycles? From that, my dad came to the conclusion that 

1) The injury was fake

2) They were trying to scam us for a sum of money, seeing the condition we had been in

3) The whole scheme was planned

For me, after the lecture from my dad.. I'm sharing this view here to everyone of you who had yet to involve in something like this. Most of you seasoned drivers might know this already but I doubt that any of you who wasn't in this shit before would be able to think rationally when this really occurs. Always bear in mind that, whenever someone bangs you and there's a group of suspicious people coming your way.. Just get the number plate and go. No people would bang your bumper for nothing, unless its drunk. So always keep yourself on your toes whenever your driving and really, CHILL and MAKE A QUICK THOUGHT.

I had been through one myself and obviously I panicked. Luckily my mom was trailing me right behind and I managed to escape even the negotiation part.

We all know when we are right and when we are wrong.. nothing happens without a reason. Don't jump to the conclusion so quick. If there weren't calm people among us just now, we would have considering paying the RM 300 for an accident that they had clearly created.

That's all for tonight, I wish all of you happy holidays. (: 

*Every lesson learnt = experience gained in life

Hunger.

Starving is no joke. I haven't starved at all in my whole life. Whenever I'm at home, I'm obedient enough to rummage through the kitchen for source of food. My belly is constantly filled up so that it could cover the lost of my energy through my high rate of metabolism. 

Last Sunday, I joined the annual 30-hour famine camp. Before my participation in this year's camp, I had to admit that, I kinda taken the this event lightly. I still remembered the days that I laughed and teased my friend whom tried very hard to obtain donation from me and prepared themselves for this mentally challenging process.

I have no idea what'd the more experienced camper felt, but when the time is inching to the midnight mark, I could feel my stomach churning and grumbling inside. It wasn't the best feeling at all, it even obstructed my sleep. Yes, no peaceful sleep for the night. Oh well, didn't have much time to sleep anyways. 

2nd day of the camp was the most torturous part. Deep inside my mind, I were already counting down the hours remaining so that I can finally taste food again. Had to carry on rest of the day with an empty stomach until 4. Many retarded and crazy process happened though. For instance, Wei Jian's dangerous yet thrilling driving skills and also Kelvin's retardation and cheerfulness which made people surrounding him wondered whether he was on drugs or not.

At 4 sharp, I finally got to devour the whole kaya bread. (Thanks Rotiboy). A bread was not enough though, I munched off a Mars bar which Wei Jian brought to the camp. (Thanks Wei Jian) Hahaha.. the obvious question is, why did Wei Jian bought Mars Bar to the camp. Hehe ;) 

Well, at least now I can proudly say that I made it out of the Camp surviving that 30 hours by just drinking water. Heh.

Hopping to the next topic is about class outing? (:

So apparently today, Bio class was cancelled and we had a 4 hour break between 10-2. This sudden occurrence prompted us to go watch a movie. I wanted to watch Despicable Me 2 man, but it seemed like most people watched it already. Gah. So, everybody agreed on another movie called Pacific Rim. 

Well just gonna skip over the process so no spoilers to anyone.

Pacific Rim was a cool show though. Graphic and Effects were scintillating. Though, I prefer Transformers than Pacific Rim to be honest. A robot to robot fight was more eye catching for me compared to a robot and beast. Compared to Pacific Rim, Transformers also had hot girls acting in parts of movie scene so yeah. 

I'm a guy after all. Hahahahaha. :p

My two cents.

A few more days and it's the reopening of college - yes, a series of hectic academic schedules accompanied by none other than the neverending stack of notes and homework. To be honest, I can't suppress my inner excitement at the idea of going back to college. It's definitely enough holidays for me until now, and thought that it will be a good time to quickly recover myself into the systematic lifestyle.

Lately, our country had been struck by the annual haze, though this time it seemed much more disastrous. From the day (About three days back) my neighbourhood, the Petaling Jaya area had been covered in this blurry and foul-smelling smoke, I started following the API indexes from the Malaysia Environment Website. To a surprise, I found out that the air here was at a near 200 rating which was labelled as Unhealthy.

From the website, I also found out that places nearby the coasts such as Port Klang, Muar and Kota Melaka had readings at about 400.

To clarify things up, the haze is caused by the open burning of the forests in the plantation area of Indonesia that leads to an inordinate of harmful gases being released into the atmosphere. These gases are carried by the flow of wind and subsequently affects the countries nearby the Indonesia. Recently, for such preposterous readings to show in the API,  no doubt, it caused the outrage of the citizens in the countries, namely Malaysia and Singapore. And now, the only thing that the local governments can do, is to point fingers at each other and expect the other party to resolve their issues.

When I first saw the news, 'Singapore government demand an apology from the Indonesian government' and later on, 'Indonesian Minister refuses to apologize', in my mind, I was thinking.. What a joke. I mean, instead of bringing shit up to the media and talk trash, the Sg government should at least like lend a hand and help with the issue, and not expect the other party to issue and apology to you when they're in the state of a mess and calamity.

As a follower of Yahoo News!, I also came across this issue which said that the opening burning of forests was operated by the Malaysian plantation companies located in Indonesia. However, that shouldn't be the excuse as the government of Indonesia has the utmost authority to issue a heavy fine to the companies involved. It always make me wonder why didn't they do that and continued to allow the situation to worsen day by day.

And then I realized the most logical and Malaysian way of doing things.

Rasuah.

Lazy Bug

Seeing my siblings all go back to school, I have nothing to do now for the rest of the month. Though that, I am very very lazy to work, and even feel reluctant to help my dad with his shop. (He tries to find an excuse for me to go to the shop). To say the truth, helping my dad will not gain me any experience.. in my honest opinion. 

To speak the truth, I'm not feeling bored at all for the holidays. I feel quite captivated and absorbed with the stuffs I do and WILL do. There seems to be a schedule fixed up for my holidays now and working doesn't fit into any of the time slot. 

Up to now, everyday I did a bit of gaming, a bit of comic, a bit of guitar and a bit of basketball. Now imagine that I allocate 2 hours for each of those, 8 hours would have passed by. I did this consistently for almost 3/4 of the week.. so I dare say that its quite productive the way I spend it. 

Why don't I work? My mindset is contrary to what the average young adults think. "Time to earn money and get some experience and buy all the stuffs I want". For me I look ahead and say.. I know that Sem 2 is gonna be way harsher than Sem 1 and after all the threats from my physics teacher, I really want to take the holiday just doing what I want to do.. as never know.. there might be no time for a life like this for the next few months and even the next few holidays.

Well, my whole family kinda call me a useless and lazy person now, but I guess I just have to bear with it. Lol :P

Great news is, soon my car's gonna arrive. It's a Toyota Vios.. totally different than the initial target Ford Focus. Well I guess having a car is better than none.. gotta make do with what I have now.